Visiting Uncle James
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: Sirius takes Sirius Junior, the now adult bunny, to visit Uncle James. Only problem is, James doesn't want to accept his responsibility as an uncle to a rabbit.


Title: Visiting Uncle James

Summary: Sirius takes Sirius Junior, the now-adult bunny, to visit Uncle James. Only problem is, James doesn't want to accept his responsibility as an uncle to a rabbit.

Note: OK, I wanted to do a one-shot, and I couldn't think of anything else except 'Super Cereal'. But I'll probably explain that later. So, more baby, excuse me, adult, bunny action for now.

It was a very lazy morning for Sirius Black and his pet bunny, Sirius Junior. The rabbit had sat at his feet for hours, staring at him. "No, I am not giving you more paper to eat! Gen was right; it wasn't good for you. So no more paper!"

After the last visit from Gen, Sirius had put all paper products, including every copy of _The Daily Prophet _he recieved, far out of the rabbit's reach. If rabbits have reach, that is.

"I'll take you to see Gen if you want." he told the rabbit, petting it on the top of the head with his foot.

The rabbit made a rabbit-y noise, which Sirius took to mean 'no'.

The options of 'Diagon Alley' and 'Hogsmeade' also got the rabbit-y noise for an answer.

"Fine, then." Sirius said, bending to pick up the incredibly fat rabbit. "Fine, then, we'll go see Uncle James."

But James, it seemed, did not want to see them. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the rabbit, who stared back at him. "I don't like you." James told the rabbit, sticking his finger a bit too near the rabbit's mouth.

A minute later, Sirius was shielding the rabbit from James as James stuck his finger in his mouth and tried to throttle the rabbit with his other hand. "Stupid cotton-arse fluffball!" James hissed.

"It's not his fault you look like a giant carrot!" Sirius said defensively.

"I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A GIANT CARROT!" James shouted, glaring at the rabbit. "And I was here first." he added, adopting a mock jealous manner. "I thought I was your best friend, and you replace me with a rabbit?" he fake sobbed. "FINE! Remus is now my best friend!"

"Awww, lookit, Sirius Junior. We've hurt Uncle Jamesie's feelings!"

"UNCLE JAMES!" James roared, dropping his dramatics immediately. "I AM NOT AN UNCLE TO A FURRY LITTLE VARMINT!"

"Varmint?" Sirius asked, his eyebrows meeting in confusion. "What's a 'varmint'?"

James, who really did not know the meaning of the word 'varmint' answered, "That!" He then proceeded to thumped the rabbit on the nose.

"That was mean!" Sirius whined. "Apologize to my bunny!"

"No!" James said, crossing his arms over his chest once more and turning away from Sirius and the rabbit. "I am not apologizing until YOU apologize to ME."

"Why should I apologize?" Sirius asked, looking confused.

"You replaced me with a rabbit." James sniffled, adopting his dramatics once more. "I thought I meant more to you than a rabbit!"

"But – but – but he was Gen's rabbit!" Sirius stammered.

"Oh, that explains a lot." James said, his tone immediately brightening. "As long as you haven't fully replaced me with it, then I'm sure I can grow to... like... this little furry thing."

"So that means you'll be nice to him, Uncle James?" Sirius asked, offering the rabbit to James.

James watched as the rabbit twitched his nose at him. He was certain the rabbit was sniffing him out. And he was also certain that, after his first taste of his finger, the rabbit wanted the rest of James. "No." James said darkly.

"Why not?" Sirius demanded. "He likes you."

"He bit my finger!" James brandished his battle-scarred finger at Sirius, who merely shrugged.

"He bites my toes all the time."

James looked at the rabbit with false awe. "You mean he hasn't died yet? Your toes are disgusting, mate."

To which he received a large smack 'round the back of the head.

James, rubbing the back of his head and grumbling, continued to stare at the rabbit. Finally, he asked, "What are you going to do if it's a girl?"

"You know, I really couldn't care what his gender is." Sirius answered. "This rabbit's gotten Gen into my loft more times than I could possibly manage, even if I had Remus over, as well."

"No wonder you keep it around." James said with a grin. He reached out a timid hand and rubbed between the rabbit's ears. "You're not so bad." he muttered to it.

"So you'll be Uncle James?"

"NO!"


End file.
